Moo-ton-Rothschild: Cattle ranchers in British Columbia are feeding a bottle of wine a day to their beef cattle in an effort to breed tastier beef. Sezmu Meats started with the 60-day, liter-a-day regime after seeing one of Gordon Ramsay's cavalcade of TV shows where a hog farmer "finished' his pigs with beer...

...mmm. Pigs with beer...

The ranchers insist that the red wine blend gives the meat a sweeter, "beefier" taste when compared to industrially-raised cattle. Furthermore, as rancher Janice Ravndahl notes, "cattle that are relaxed taste better." Probably true, and a feather in the cap for humane ranching, but here's the burning question: is the wine in Canada so bad that only the cows will drink it? Ooooooooooh! USA! USA! USA! (okay, clearly I'm still bitter about the Olympic Mens' Hockey finals, and the Okanagan region of British Columbia actually makes some terrific wines I'm told). That being said, USA! USA! USA!

Badass Nanny State: Russian Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin is pleading with the nation's citizens to drink more and smoke more. This bizarre edict precedes a planned rise in excise taxes on both booze and cigarettes. "If you smoke a pack of cigarettes, that means you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, developing other social services and upholding birth rates," stated Kudrin in a statement to the Interfax news agency. The last part of that statement sounds really counterproductive: more money for healthcare to help deliver smokey, low-birthweight babies. Why shouldn't they be desperate, though? More folks are dying than being born in Russia. Take that, Ivan Drago. USA! USA! USA! (okay, that's just wrong). Eh, I'm sure more smoking and vodka drinking will help that high death rate. Good lookin' out, Russian government.