Tuesday, October 11, 2011

This Used to be Easy

Used to sit down at this now-overburdened laptop and bang out some drivel about how the A-Team is a perfect metaphor for the four most noble grape varieties of Alsace.  

Riesling, the ring-leader and mastermind of Alsace's vinous fame.  Some might say the ranking officer.  Assertive but balanced, smart and thought-provoking, and prone to aging well.  A regular Col. John Hannibal.  That handsome devil.

Pinot Gris, the full-bodied muscle of Alsace.  B.A. Baracus, perhaps?  Don't know if it hates flying, though.  But I'll have to admit that Pinot Gris has knocked me on my ass before.

Muscat, a smooth and aromatic experience.  Suave.  Just like Templeton Peck, aka, "Face"

And, of course, there's bat shit-crazy Gewurztraminer.  Smells sweet, often tastes dry.  A brilliant and polarizing mind-bender of a wine.  Call it "Howling Mad" Murdock in my book.


Piece of cake.  "Tell me about Alsace," folks might've said.  People on the streets.  Everyone wants to know Alsace.

"No sweat.  You like the A-Team?  No?  Okay, let's work with the fact that you're wearing that Oingo Boingo t-shirt.  See, Danny Elfman is a lot like Riesling..."

Lately, though, it seems every post has been a struggle.  I feel like a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters... but the typewriters are out of ink, and the monkeys; well, the monkeys are just too busy flinging poo to do my bidding at the keys.

Wondering if it's writers' block.  Possibly.  Not much time to write.  Or even think about writing.  Such can be life for the swinging international playboy that is a marketing goon for a wholesale distributor of air conditioning products.

But I think "writers' block" is a lazy and convenient excuse.  Rather, I'm starting to think that when dealing with a subject so vast, generalization gets tough.

Wine is a rabbit-hole.  It keeps going.  One's pursuits- real obsessive pursuits- of wine appreciation must be similar to what Lewis & Clark felt when they crested the highest point of the Rockies... only to see more, endless land.  "Where's the damn ocean, already?"  Of course, when dealing with wine, rather than getting dysentery from a pre-pasteurization expedition, you get a tasty beverage and perhaps a little buzz.  

Okay, sometimes you get dysentery too.  Stay away from wines sold at gas stations or on the Denny's wine list.  Everyone knows a "Grand Slam" breakfast goes better with beer anyway.  'Cause we all know you're hungover.

Here's the point, I think:  I don't want to scare anyone away from wine, because it really is wonderful.  Oversimplification might do the subject matter a disservice, and complicating what is- essentially- a food product with tons of geeky facts and oh-so-awful descriptions of aromas and flavors can do even more damage.  As soon as people are stressed out by the beverage that is meant to relieve stress, I believe they're going to stick with what's comfortable- be that the same wine over and over again, or the reliable 12-pack of domestic brew.

So, to those still reading:  thanks.  I'm working on it.

And yes, Alsace wine is much more than a cast of characters from a particularly awesome 80's action drama.  But it ain't friggin' nuclear physics either.  And I think- now- you know that...

I love it when a plan comes together.

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