"Black grapes"?

"Vineyard aspect"?

"Colour and Flavour"?!

No, my quiet neighborhood has not been overrun by limey bastards. But they do keep sneaking over the border. The sudden proliferation of Heinz canned "Spotted Dick" at my local grocery purveyor is a dead giveaway. Yet, you fools assume our borders are secure...

Actually, I've begun my study for the Wine & Spirit Education Trust (WSET) Level 3 Advanced. The above-mentioned are common phrases seen within the study material.

Why the lingo? Well, it's a British accreditation. And I'm digging in because I need to brush up on wine knowledge. Because I want to build on a modicum of credibility. And because I long to master the three main wine-centric associations in existence: Society of Wine Educators, Court of Master Sommeliers, and WSET. (Joe Roberts at 1WineDude slings a good breakdown of each HERE).

WSET is the logical choice: an opportunity to study it has arose. I already have the CSW (Certified Specialist of Wine, or "Certified Social Worker" on LinkedIn, or "Certified Suburban Wino", coined by someone much more clever than I) from the Society of Wine Educators. The more-advanced CWE (Certified Wine Educator) is currently way out-of-my-league. At this point, the CWE is Lisa Turtle. I'm Screech Powers.

There's also the Court of Master Sommeliers. I've always craved this one, so I could call myself a sommelier. Unfortunately, the Court just doesn't have a training and certification schedule I can work around at this point. So, no, I will STILL not be a certified sommelier. But that's okay. I'm not sliding into my slim-fit tuxedo I bought in college anytime soon.

But WSET is not a bad option. It's pretty comprehensive. The materials are well-written. Furthermore, the WSET Advanced incorporates an element of tasting evaluation in it's certification. And my palate is stupid. Like "Paris Hilton" stupid. So having an organized (organised?) methodology with which to train it is huge. Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge.

And so, for these- among other- reasons, it's time to dig into the WSET materials, written in British. With plenty of swot, some codswallop, a few nights on the piss (getting rat-arsed on plonk), and definitely some spawny circumstances, I'm confident everything will be bloody brilliant.